


Half In and Half Out of the Light

by octothropes



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9405524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octothropes/pseuds/octothropes
Summary: Set just before and during season one.After finding out her father has passed away, Tara Knowles returns to Charming, but with a surprise. She has a four year old daughter. However, her old flame, Jax Teller is still in the town and despite their history has his own surprises for Tara.Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy, it belongs to Kurt Sutter.





	1. Chapter One

Chapter One

* * *

It was 6:30 in the morning when the phone rang in the apartment of Tara Knowles. She groaned and turned over, trying to ignore it at first. Slowly she sat up and rubbed her eyes, then reached across to her bedside table where her phone was.

"Hello?" Tara groaned and turned on her lamp.

An unidentified male voice answered. "Is this Tara Knowles?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"I'm a doctor at St Thomas, in Charming."

Tara's stomach turned somersaults. She hadn't been in Charming for 10 years. She'd left for university, against her father's wishes and those of Jax Teller, her ex-boyfriend. Thinking of Jax made her shiver and she tried to push him from her mind. Was it Jax? Had being part of the club finally caught up with him? But why would they call her? It couldn't be Jax.

"What happened?" She asked, turning her attention back to the mysterious doctor.

The doctor paused. "It's your father, Frank Knowles."

Tara pushed the covers off her bed and sat with her feet touching the cold hardwood floors. Even with the light on, the room was gloomy and dark. Her heart started beating faster. She had spoken to her father last week, on his 61st birthday.

He paused before saying the next four words. "He passed this morning."

It felt like the world had imploded. She had only felt this helpless three times. When her mother died, when Josh had threatened her in the court room and the last time when her daughter had been born.

"Why?" She could only force out the single word.

"He had a stroke sometime in the night. By the time neighbors reached the emergency services, there was nothing we could do."

Tara sat still with the phone pressed to her ear. She closed her eyes to prevent tears and took a deep breath. "I'm next of kin. Do you need me to release the body?"

"Yes, you have to come to Charming."

She gulped and nodded. "Yes, I'll book a flight tonight. Can I ask for your name so I can find out who to ask for?"

"Just ask for Margaret Murphy, she'll help you with the paper work. I'm sorry for your loss Miss Knowles." With that, the phone went dead.

Tara put the phone down and stood up. She was in an old t-shirt that had belonged to her father. Slowly she grasped the collar and pulled it up to smell it. She hoped she could smell the old musky scent she associated with him. Sandalwood, cigarette smoke and alcohol. All it smelt like was Tara.

She loved her father. Until her mother died, they had been the perfect family. Her mother was a Daycare teacher and her father worked as an engineer for a company that was based in Lodi. Not long after her seventh birthday, her mother was diagnosed with leukemia. She died eight months later. After that, her father lost his way. He drank, he smoked and he stayed out for days at a time, leaving her to fend for herself. She still loved him, but less unconditionally and more, because he was her father.

He hit her once. She was nineteen and they had a blistering argument about Tara going to university in Chicago. She never stepped foot in the house again. 

Not until now. It hit her suddenly that the last time she'd been in that house with her father, they'd argued. Tara sank back on the bed and thought about her father, thought about Charming. Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them away. She couldn't lose it, she had to get to Charming.

Tara pulled on a pair of leggings and walked into the kitchen, turned on the computer. Immediately she looked at flights to California. There was one leaving  late that night and she immediately booked two tickets.

Inside one of the cupboards, there was a box of old pictures. She went to grab them and took a seat, cross legged on the carpet. She didn't want to open up the box. She didn't want any memories to send her over the edge. She was holding it together well enough. Tara didn't want to release a tidal wave that she couldn't control.

"Mama?" A tiny voice interrupted her thoughts and Tara turned to the doorway. There stood a small girl with a mess of brown hair tied into two braids. She was holding a teddy bear as big as herself in her arms. "Mama, are you okay? You're crying? Did you fall?"

Tara nodded. She didn't know she was crying. "Come here Katie." She held her arms out, and Katie ran over and threw both herself and the teddy bear into Tara's arms.

The dam broke and Tara burst into tears. Katie pulled away and wiped her tears away with her thumb. "Do you need a bandage?"

She shook her head. "No sweetheart, I don't think a bandage will help."

Katie looked at her and cocked her head to the right. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm sad. Grandpa has passed away." Tara had always resolved to be honest with Katie, but now she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell the truth. If Katie ever asked about her father, she would tell her. But being faced with death hadn't been something Tara had thought about. She thought she had more time.

"What does that mean?" Katie asked.

Tara sighed and took a deep breath. "It means we won't see him anymore, or talk to him."

Katie nodded and looked at her mother. She then pulled the box from behind Tara and opened it.

On the top of the pile was a picture of Tara, her mother and father on Christmas day.

She then lifted it up and out it on the floor, revealing a picture of Tara and her mother on a swing set. "Is he with Grandma?" Katie asked.

"Yes he's with Grandma." she nodded and pulled Katie into her chest and kissed her head.

They kept going through the pictures, Tara told Katie stories of what had happened in the picture and Katie asked how old mama was when the picture was taken.

Finally, they came to the last picture. It was a picture of seventeen year old Tara sat on the back of a motorcycle. On the front, with a cigarette in his mouth was Jackson Teller.

"Who is that?" Katie asked and pointed at him.

Jax's hair was short and he had on a pair of sunglasses. He was smiling and Tara was looking adoringly at him, like she was clinging to his every word. She remembered that day clearly.

It was the day after school had ended for the summer. Jax and Tara had started dating ten months previously after him pestering her for months on end to accept a ride home on his Harley. She'd finally accepted and he'd taken her on a world wind tour of Charming, cultivating in a good night kiss and a permanent bond.

That day, Tara had been working at a shitty little cafe in Charming where she was being felt up by some of the regulars. Jax strode in, shot the other waitresses smirks and demanded she get the rest of the day off, much to her chagrin.

However, it worked and she climbed on his bike and he took her to a secluded little park where he'd set up a picnic. They had talked and kissed and talked more. Then they rode off. The picture had been taken while on a highway, where they had bumped into Jax's best friend, Opie and his girlfriend, Donna. Donna had thought that they looked like a fifties couple, like James Dean and Natalie Wood in Rebel Without a Cause.

Katie's incessant poking brought Tara back to the present. "Who is it mama?"

She sighed. "That was mama's friend. His name is Jax."

"He looks nice. Are we going to meet him when we go to see Grandpa?"

Tara looked at Katie and stroked her head. "We might."


	2. Chapter Two

 

Tara Knowles stepped off the plane, holding Katie's hand as tightly as possible. Katie was holding her teddy bear's hand as tight as she could. She stepped onto the hot tarmac and shielded her eyes from the blinding sun. It was annoyingly hot and Tara was already sweating. The plane had been tedious, but thankfully, Katie slept the entire time, with the occasional bathroom break.

Once they picked up their luggage, a small pink wheelie suitcase for Katie and a slightly larger duffle bag for Tara, they flagged down a taxi.

"Where to ma'am?"

Tara sighed and unconsciously fiddled with her necklace. "Charming." She muttered and hoisted her bag into the trunk of the car.

The driver nodded and opened the back door. Tara ushered Katie in and strapped her in, then sat next to her. She absently stroked Katie's hair as she looked out the window.

The last time she'd been in Charming she hadn't exactly left on good terms.

_"So this is it? You're really going?" Jax had asked, aggressively lighting a cigarette. At first he'd been supportive of her dream of being a doctor, then he realized that she wasn't going to stay in Charming._

_"I have to! I can't stay here. I can't be your old lady and live in a place where I'm always frightened to come home and find you dead. I can't suffer like Gemma did." Tara tried to touch his hand, but he pulled it away._

_"What about us? Is this it? Will I see you again?" He asked, not looking at her._

_Tara looked at him. She loved him more than anything. She thought she would die if she never saw him again. But leaving would be good for both of them, giving them time to breathe and not to live off each other like they had been doing for two years. "Maybe."_

_"Maybe. You live in a world of maybes. Maybe I'll stay, maybe we'll have a life together." He glared at her and took a long drag from his cigarette. "You don't love me any more." He was hurting, more than he thought he would when Tara told him she was considering leaving._

_She stared at her feet, and started to well up. "Jax, I love you and if you love me, you'll let me go."_

_"If you still fucking love me, why would you do this? My life is finally improving. I'm part of the club, I'm making money and I'm doing what I was born to do!"_

_Tara ran her hand through her hair, "Jax it's not that easy! You want the club, I want a life! I want to help people. I want to get out of this town and do something with my skills . I won't become my father. I won't sit here, mourning things I could have been, drinking until I can't remember what I've done with my life. I don't want to visit you in prison like I have before. And you shouldn't become your father." Immediately she could tell she crossed a line. Jax's face contorted in anger and her threw his cigarette to the ground  
_

_"Then go. Get the hell out of here." He snapped and turned away from her. "I don't need you telling me not to stay with the club. I love it more than you. I can fuck who I want and I can drink what I want when you go. You can go and I don't want to see you again!" His voice began to crack and Tara tried to touch his shoulder. "Just fucking go!"_

_"Jax!" She blinked away tears and tried to look past him, tried to ignore the hurt that was plastered on his face._

_"Get out Tara."_

_She turned away from him and walked to door but looked behind her. She felt like her heart was being torn in two. Her eyes began to well up and her hands wouldn't stop shaking. "Goodbye Jax."_

The last time she'd heard about Jax was when Donna called asking how she'd settled in at the University, three weeks after she'd left. Apparently Jax was tearing himself apart, drinking and banging everything on two legs. Just like he had done before they'd gotten together and just like he had when his father passed.

She wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing him. Or going to the hospital at all. The day she left, her father had been just as upset as Jax.

_"Are you drunk?" Tara asked as she carried her bags across to the car._

_He ignored her and went to get another beer._

_"Dad, I have to go to the airport. I wanted to say goodbye."_

_"Why are you saying goodbye at all? Why don't you just fuck off and go to your new school!"_

_"Please." She asked quietly._

_"Please! You fucking bitch, I'm your father and you're leaving me here with the ghost of your mother."_

_Tara laughed hollowly. "You haven't cared about me since mom died! You've treated me like shit. I had to pay for the groceries, I had to pay for my school textbooks, clothes and everything else. I paid the bills to keep the power and electricity going! Don't lecture me on leaving, because you fucking left me!"_

_"I'm your father, don't speak to me that way!" He shouted and stumbled over to her, holding a can and downing it in one._

_"You haven't been a father since I was eight years old!"_

_It happened so fast. His hand reached out and hit slapped her across the face. It didn't hurt. It didn't feel like anything, but she was so shocked. Her hand flew to her cheek and she stared at him in complete shock. Slowly she backed away and pulled her bags with her and threw them into the trunk of the car and climbed into the drivers seat and drove away as quickly as she could, leaving Charming and Jax and her father behind._

Tara stared out the window of the moving vehicle. Katie was asleep again against the other window. The taxi passed Stockton prison where Jax had been sent when he was arrested just before she left to College.

Then they passed the sign, welcoming them to Charming.

She turned to the taxi driver and told him her address. She still had an old key and if that didn't work, she'd check with the neighbors.

They pulled up to the house. The house where she grew up, the one her daughter never got a chance to see. Until now. She felt a bit of nostalgia, but then remembered the last time she'd been at the house. Immediately the nostalgia became dread.

Tara pulled the bags from the car and paid the driver. Slowly, Katie followed Tara to the front door and took the keys from her mother and put them in the lock. Her father hadn't changed them since she'd left. Slowly Katie pushed open the door and they both walked in.

The house was the exact same as it was when she was a child. The old welcome mat was still there, the set up was the same and when she checked the fridge, there was only a case of beer and a moldy carton on milk. There was no television. Tara had sold it to pay the bills. Some of the springs were wearing through the couch upholstery and there were mysterious stains on the floor. 

There weren't any pictures and the entire place reeked of regret. There were old boxes stacked on the furniture and some of the door knobs had dust coating them.

"Sweetheart, just put your things in my old bedroom." She pointed toward the door, which had a dusty knob. Katie slowly dragged her suitcase behind her and pushed open the door.

Her bedroom was the same as it had been ten years ago. The bedspread was the same, the oak vanity and closet. On the wall, just above her bed was a picture of Jax and her. They were holding hands as they sat on the steps leading to the school. She was laughing in the picture. Tara tried in vain to remember that day, but all she could think of was the argument they had when she had left.

She wondered how he was. Was he still a man whore? Had he settled down with someone other than her or was he in prison, languishing in the place they had just passed.

She wasn't the same. She was a survivor, she was a mother and she was a doctor. Chicago Presbyterian had given her two weeks off to deal with the funeral and Will, and she was very grateful for it.

Tara looked away from the and left her things on the coach. She then went to the garage and opened the door. Her father's cutlass was barely noticeable under all the junk he kept in the garage. She cleared everything off it, old toys, trophies, papers from long overdue book reports and tried to drive the car out.

Shockingly the thing still had gas in the tank. "Katie! Come on, we're going to go to the hospital. It won't take long."

The two of them got into the car and drove to St Thomas. Tara didn't even think about where they were going. Her mother had spent her last few weeks in that hospital, she knew her way there like the back of her hand.

By the time they reached the hospital, Tara had calmed down. She was prepared to see her father. She was not, however prepared to see the dozen motorcycles in the hospital parking lot.

Tara got out the car and picked Katie up and hoisted her onto her hip. Katie threw her arms around her neck and nuzzled her head into her hair.  Tara slowly walked towards the front door, keeping as far away from the motorcycles as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this a Jax/Tara fic, and know it hasn't exactly been Jax and Tara together, but I promise I'm getting there.


	3. Chapter Three

The hospital smelt like death. Tara worked in a hospital, so she didn't hate it, she associated it with saving a life.

Behind the front desk, a kind looking woman was typing at a computer with a frown on her face, Tara and Katie walked over to her and Tara readjusted Katie on her hip. "Hello?"

The woman looked up. "Hi, what can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for Margaret Murphy. I was told I needed her to help sign some paper work to release my father's body." Tara replied and leaned back so she could see the woman's face.

She nodded and called an intern over. "Our PA isn't working, nor are our pagers, so this intern will take you to her. She's in pediatrics right now."

The intern, whose name tag said Fiona gave Tara a smile and gestured at her to follow. "It's on the third floor. We'll take the elevator."

Tara thanked the woman and put Katie on the ground, but kept hold of her hand.

"Is this your first time in Charming?" Fiona asked once they were in the elevator.

She shook her head. "No, I lived here when I was a kid, but moved away when I went to university. I just came back for my dad." Tara turned away and blinked back tears.

Fiona nodded. “I lived in Oakland, and St Thomas was the closest hospital that accepted me, so I live here now.”

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to a sight Tara had prayed never to see again.

The Sons of Anarchy were standing in the waiting room, along with Gemma Teller Morrow. She looked practically the same as she had years ago, same blonde highlights, same low cut shirts and same severe look on her face. The last time Tara had seen her, she was driving away from the clubhouse with Gemma glaring at her through the rear view mirror.

Tara’s heart began to beat erratically and her hands began to sweat. She held Katie’s hand tighter and followed Fiona through the waiting room, keeping her head down and eyes on her daughter to make sure she didn’t fall over in the crowd.

However she made a vital mistake. She looked up once to see where they were going, and she met Gemma’s eyes. Gemma, the mother of her ex-boyfriend, who had practically taken her in when it became obvious Tara was on her own.

Gemma did a double take and stared at her until she started to feel self-conscious. Tara had just spent four hours on a plane, and then an additional hour in a taxi and her father had died a day ago. She thought she was entitled to look run down.

Pulling Katie along, she kept following Fiona, until she quite literally bumped into a solid chest. She bounced backwards and nearly tripped over, barely staying on her feet.

Slowly she looked up, with apprehension flowering in her chest. In front of her, was Jax.

"Tara? Jesus what are you doing here? What the fuck?" Immediately Tara became defensive. She hadn't seen Jax in 10 years and the first thing he does is swear.

She covered Katie's ears and glared at Jax. "Do you mind?" Katie didn't seem to notice that he'd sworn. She was humming Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Both Jax and Gemma stared open mouthed at Katie. "You have a kid?" Gemma was the first to speak. "Who'd want a baby with you?"

Tara took Katie's hand and kept moving after Fiona, trying to ignore the embarrassment of the entire Club staring at her. Her face turned red and she moved quickly past Jax.

"Wait, Tara, can I talk to you?" Jax grabbed her free arm to stop her from going out of the room.

"Jackson, let go of me." She snarled, motherly instincts kicking in. It didn't matter that Gemma was staring, it didn't matter that her daughter was staring at her, looking very confused. She wasn't going to let any man touch her like before.

He let go of her and held his hands up in a surrender position, "Sorry."

Tara followed the intern out the room and suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. Katie tugged her arm and asked her a question. "Mama, who was that? The mean looking lady."

"I see you've met Gemma Teller Morrow." A red headed woman walked in. "Margaret Murphy."

Tara held her hand out and Margaret took it. "Tara Knowles, I'm here about my father."

"Oh yes, Frank, we did what we could, but it was too late." Margaret looked sympathetic and tried to give Tara a comfort pat, but she pulled away.

She nodded. "Yes, I was told by a doctor that I was supposed to come to you for the paper work. To release the body so I can plan the funeral."

"I'm very sorry for your loss. Right this way."

* * *

Half an hour later the papers were signed in triplicate and Katie had fallen asleep on the coach in Margaret's office.

"Your daughter is really quite beautiful. Is it just you?" She asked as she passed over more pieces of paper.

Tara nodded and gave Katie's hair a quick stroke. "Yeah, just us. After my mom died, it was just my dad and me too. I'm used to a single parent family, I just never thought I'd be the single parent."

"What's her name?"

"Kathryn Isabelle. After my mom."

Margaret smiled at her fondly. "What do you do?"

"I work at Chicago Presbyterian as a surgeon. I lived here until I went to college, so I know all about the Sons." Tara sighed and initialed another piece of paper. "I definitely know Gemma. I used to date her son."

_Tara was sat at the very back of the room, right next to David Hale. She was trying to ignore the incessant talking from David and his friends and across the room was Jax and his friends._

_She enjoyed biology and she needed it to get into advanced medical science next year._

_"Tara, can we borrow your notes for the test?" David's friend asked her._

_She rolled her eyes and passed over all her notes._

_"Knowles, can I got a favor too? One that has you on your knees in front of me."_

_Before she could come up with a witty retort, the bell rang and she grabbed her things and got out of the classroom as quickly as she could. As she reached her locker, she was stopped._

_Jax Teller had stopped her. "I'm sorry about Kyle. He's a dick."_

_"Why do put up with him. He's just part of your little entourage to prospect." Tara scathingly replied. "I really don't care."  
_

_"Well I'm still apologizing. He shouldn't have said that and I'll beat the shit out of him for it."_

_She laughed sarcastically and opened up her locker. "Why would you do that? I don't know you and you don't know me. The only reason we even interact is because I tutor Donna sometimes."_

_"Please, I've known you since we were kids."_

_Tara pulled out her bag and put her books in it. "Yep."_

_Jax took a deep breath. "So I was wondering if you wanted to go to David's party on Friday. Opie and Donna are going and I figured you should actually spend time having fun instead of sat at home studying."_

_She turned her head to look at him. "Are you asking me out?" Jax Teller, asking a girl out? Mostly he just banged them in the bathroom._

_"Kind of, if you want to." He looked a little embarrassed._

_"Sorry Jax, I can't, I'm really busy."_

_"Well at least let me take you home on my bike. It's a long walk."_

_Tara stared at the ground in embarrassment. She was turning down the legendary Jackson Teller. "I prefer walking. It clears my head. Thanks for the offer, but I'm okay."_

_Jax nodded. "A guy can try, see you around darling."_

_He asked her out twelve times in total before she finally let him take her home. Or at least he said he was taking her home._

_The rest you say is, history._

Tara finished signing the papers and gave them to Margaret. "Thanks for your help."

"No problem. We also have to go down to the morgue. I'm afraid you'll have to identify your father's body."

She swallowed and nodded at her. "Is it right if Katie stays here, can you lock the door, I don't want to take her down there."

Margaret gave a kind smile and walked Tara out of the room, then locked the door. "I'm sure this will only take five minutes."

It did take five minutes. It felt like less. They wheeled out Frank's body and Tara identified him and that was it. She just felt like the world was speeding up, like it wasn't even her doing the identification.

Katie was still lying on the coach, nestled in a ball when they walked back in. Tara gently gave her a nudge and whispered to her. "Come on sweetheart, we're going to go back home."

"Later mama." Katie rolled over and whimpered.

"Up and at 'em munchkin." Tara reached over and slowly pulled her into a seated position.

Katie yawned and stood up, hanging on to her mother for dear life. "Mama, when are we going home? Our real home."

She sighed and thanked Margaret and took her daughter through the hospital. "We'll be back soon. I promise."

"Still making promises Tara. I thought you outgrew that." Gemma Teller Morrow had arrived.

"Hello Gemma." Tara had to keep things civil, if not for her own sake, for Katie's. The hospital was not prepared for a cat fight. 

Gemma smiled. "So you have a kid. Is there a daddy or did you run from him too?"

"He's in prison." she stated frankly.

Gemma raised her eyebrows and smirked. "So no matter what, you're stuck in the outlaw life."

"What are you doing here?" Tara asked, clenching her fist and trying to talk herself out of punching Gemma.

"Jax's wife just had a kid. I'm a grandma."

Jax had a wife? Tara's head began to spin. Jax as a dad was something she struggled to believe. Jax as a husband was something she couldn't fathom either. All she could choke out was a "That's nice."

"What about you? Why are you back in Charming. I thought you were set for life at your big city doctor gig." Gemma asked and put her hand on her hip, looking as threatening as she had the first time she'd met her.

"My father died. I need to plan the funeral."

The face she made was most sympathetic she'd seen Gemma in a long time. "I heard about that, I'm sorry about it, Frank was a good guy." She was lying through her teeth, but Tara appreciated the effort. 

"Well it was nice to see you Gemma, but I have to go. She's up way past her bedtime." Tara gave a tight smile and walked from the waiting room to the elevator.

Just as the doors started to close, Gemma called out. "Jax wants to speak to you, I would." Then, it was just Katie and Tara, stood in the elevator with Gemma's words bouncing around the room. Jax wanted to speak to her. Of course he did. And she wanted to speak to him. But she had responsibilities now. She was no longer a careless teenager who enjoyed fucking him on his mothers couch. Tara would admit she missed him, and together, if he missed her, they would end up on the kitchen counter. But she had to control herself and hopefully control him. 

Tara sighed exasperated and squeezed Katie's hand lightly and gazed down adoringly. Looked like both of them were parents, so they both had to act like it. Something she'd never pictured as happening.


	4. Chapter Four

It was 3:12 in the morning when the door bell rang.

Tara wrapped herself in her dressing gown, covered Katie up with a blanket and went to the door, ready to throttle whoever had come to her house. This was the second day in a row where she'd been woken up ridiculously early.

She pulled the door open, ready to give the ringer a piece of her mind. She did not predict the ringer to be who it was.

"Jax? What the hell are you doing here?" She was so shocked she nearly slammed the door in his face.

He had sunglasses on, like a douche bag and his bike was parked next to the cutlass. His hair was a little greasy and his knuckles were bleeding. "I had to see you."

Tara rolled her eyes and leaned against the door frame, crossed her arms and glared at him. "Really? I heard your wife had a kid today, why aren't you with her?"

Jax laughed hollowly. "Did my mom tell you that? Wendy is my ex-wife. She OD'ed this morning. My kid is in ICU."

"Oh Jesus, I'm sorry, I didn't know." She felt awful. When Katie was born premature, she was in the hospital for weeks, Tara wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy and she certainly wouldn't wish it on Jax.

"It's fine. We haven't seen each other in something like ten years, you're allowed one fuck up." He paused. "I'm okay to swear, right? You're kid isn't hiding behind you."

"She's asleep, and I should be too. Why are you here?"

He looked offended. "A guy is allowed to see his ex-girlfriend who mysteriously arrived in her old town after ten years, isn't he? Can I come in?"

Tara backed away from the door and let him in. "Coffee?"

"Please." Jax admired the house. The last time he'd set foot in it, Tara and him had gone at it in the shower. He followed her to the kitchen and sat at the dinner table as Tara walked round the kitchen. He took his sunglasses off, revealing a large bruise over his left eye.

"Should I ask how that happened, or should I keep blissful ignorance?" She asked as she turned on the kettle.

He snickered. "Probably keep the ignorance. Not unlike you used to."

She gave him a wry smile.

"Anyway I seemed to have missed a lot. You have a kid."

"As do you. She's four."

"What's her name?"

"Kathryn. What about your kid?"

Jax paused for a minute. "Abel."

"Strong name. I'm sure he'll be a fighter."

He nodded, and changed the subject. "Is the dad out of the picture. I mean you haven't mentioned a husband yet."

Tara stiffened. "Her biological father isn't and will never be in her life." She told him what she told everyone who asked about Joshua. The only person in Charming who knew about him was her father. Maybe it had something to do with the irrational fear that he might come and kill her and someone had to know about it.

"Oh. Wow. What happened, if you want to tell me." Jax didn't want to intrude, but he did miss Tara and wanted to know about her life in Chicago.

Tara didn't want to tell him. Not yet. She hadn't spoken to Jax in so long, she didn't want him to think she wasn't as strong as she had been. "He wasn't father material."

Jax knew there was more to the story, but left it. She'd tell him if she wanted to. "How long are you going to stay here. Mom told me about Frank."

She shrugged. "I have two weeks off in Chicago so I can organize everything but I'm a little worried that it will take longer to sort out this house. Once I clean it out I'm probably going to sell it."

"Really? Why? It'd be useful to have a house here-"

Tara cut him off. "I work in Chicago, my daughter's going to school in Chicago and I have a life in Chicago. I'm afraid this house would just gather dust and cost me money if I kept it."

"Just wondering darling, no need to get so defensive." He laughed a little bit and thought about how she used to act when he cornered her like he just had.

"Keep wondering Teller."

Their conversation paused as Tara passed him some coffee. He sipped appreciatively and she sat on the kitchen counter, drinking her own. She had given up trying to get sleep.

"Do you want me to wash your knuckles, because you're getting blood on my mug." She asked and stared at him pointedly.

Jax looked sheepish and smiled a little. "Sorry. I bet you thought you wouldn't be bandaging me up again after the last time.

The last time had been two weeks before she left, he'd gotten into a fight with a Nord and been stabbed in the thigh was a pocket knife. Tara had a shock that night when he came to hers, bloody and a knife sticking out of his leg.

_Tara had just showered when someone knocked on her bedroom window. She poked her head out. "For fucks sake Jax, you don't have to crawl in my bedroom window anymore, my neighbor swore he wouldn't call the police again."_

_"Sorry, I just figured your father wouldn't take kindly to me bleeding all over his front porch. Not after last time." He pulled himself through the window and on to her bedroom floor._

_He was in a black hoodie and jeans so dark she didn't notice the blood stain. She did, however notice the knife in his thigh. "Christ Jackson! What the hell happened?"_

_At least Jax had the decency to look ashamed. "I got in a fight."_

_"Well no shit! I'll go get some bandages, get your ass of my floor and keep my bed free of blood." Tara stormed out the room and collected the first-aid kit from the bathroom and went to get some scotch from her father's study._

_When she returned, Jax was reclined on her bed, on top of a towel. "I haven't gotten blood on the bed, so you can't yell at me." He warned and put his hand out, like he was going to ward away Tara's annoyance._

_She rolled her eyes. Honestly, it was a wonder her eyes didn't stay facing the back of her head. "I'm going to take the knife out and sterilize the cut, then you cover it in those bandages." She poured some scotch on the cloth and handed it to him, then took a swig and quickly wrapped her hand around the hilt._

_"What happened to a good bedside manner?"_

_Tara scoffed and yanked the knife out in one fluid move. "Next time go to a hospital or the club if you want nurses kissing you better." He hissed as the knife was removed. "Not a sound Jackson. I will stab you again, and this time in the balls." She warned him and poured some alcohol over the would._

_Jax bit his lip and swore softly. He then held the bandages against his leg._

_"It looks superficial, you probably won't need amputation. But I won't be adverse to doing it for you."_

_"Why are you being so violent? You're my girlfriend, I was expecting a 'I'll kiss it better for you.' Not for you to threaten my balls."_

_"Maybe think about that before getting into a fight in the first place. I have to study."_

_Jax immediately perked up. "Anatomy, because that way, I might be able to help you."_

_She couldn't keep a straight face. "How will you do that?"_

_"Well you could bandage me up for starters."_

_And that was how Jax ended up standing in her bedroom in just his boxers, with a very large bandage round his lower thigh._

_"Done, you can go home now." Tara stood in front of him, her shirt stained with his blood._

_"I was thinking of more ways I could help you study. Like for example..." He reached over to her and pulled her into his arms and held her hand over his heart. "You own my heart. If you were to take it, I'd be powerless to stop you."_

_He then reached down and picked her up, then kissed her. She didn't stop him, more encouraged him. She wrapped her legs around his hips and removed her shirt. He kissed her exposed chest and lay her down on the bed, where she shimmied out of her shorts and let him take off his top._

_"Tara, you know I love you," Jax stopped for a minute and ran his hands over her breasts and unclasped her bra._

_"I love you too." She pulled his head back down to kiss her again and pulled at his boxers while he slipped her panties off._

_"I can't imagine life without you."_

Tara blushed when she realized Jax was thinking the exact same thing she was thinking.

He shock his head a little and turned to her, remembering their last conversation. "I wanted to apologize Tara."

"For what?" She asked, trying to think of what he could have done while she was away.

"For what I said when you left. I was-" he paused to think of the right word, "upset. When you left I felt like you took a part of me with you."

Tara blushed as much as she didn't want to. But she had to stop this flirting in it's tracks. "Jax, please. Not today, not now."

He apologized. "I didn't mean anything."

"Tell me about everyone, how are Opie and Donna, I lost track of her when I got into my second year." She desperately changed the subject and he took the change as a welcome addition to the conversation.

Jax winced. "Opie was in prison for a while, but Donna's okay. They have two kids, Ellie and Kenny."

She covered her mouth with her hands. "What for?"

"Armed robbery getaway driver. It was Kyle Hobart's fault and he's been dealt with accordingly." For a minute, Jax looked frightening.

Tara didn't have time to ask when a small scream came from Tara's old bedroom.

"Jesus, what was that?" Jax asked, hand going to the gun on his belt. Tara slammed her cup down and raced to Katie.

Her daughter was sat up in bed, tears streaming down her face. "Mama!"

Tara dashed in and gave Katie a hug and buried her face in her hair. "What is it sweetheart? Are you okay?"

She hiccuped and whimpered, "I thought the bad man got you. The bad man who wants to take me away."

Tara blanched. She didn't know that Katie had heard the phone calls between her and Joshua's lawyer. "Nobody will take you away sweetheart. You can stay with me for as long as you want." She stroked Katie's hair and kissed her cheek, trying to calm her down.

Katie was whimpering like she was a baby again and it broke Tara's heart to here it. Briefly, she turned to look at Jax who was in the doorway with his hand on his belt, like he was about to pull a gun.

Jax awkwardly stood as Tara whispered to her and stroked her hair and her back. They sat there for a few minutes and Tara felt her heart slow down. Anytime Kate had an nightmare, Tara felt like she was having a heart attack.

Slowly Katie calmed down and let Tara put her down again. She tucked her in and gave a kiss on the forehead. "I'll just be a minute baby, I'll be in a minute."

Tara stood up and tucked her daughter in, then walked out the door to Jax who looked very shocked.

"Is she alright? What was wrong?" He whispered to her.

"It was a nightmare. Maybe you should go now, I have to make sure she's okay and get her back to bed."

Jax nodded and grabbed his things from the table. "Yeah, sorry."

Tara stayed in the doorway to Katie's room. "I'll see you Jax, maybe I could properly introduce you to Katie, since you've only met her twice and neither have been under particularly pleasant circumstances."

He gave her a smile and a quick one armed hug. "I'll see you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm not to comfortable writing sex scenes, so I just left it. Feel free to ask any questions and point out any mistakes I make, just tell me whether its continuity from the series, grammar or I missed something out. I do that quite often. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter Five

"No, I need to get a plot. No, not in a month, my father died two days ago, I need a plot as soon as possible!" Tara paused as the funeral consultant kept loudly jabbering. "Oh for goodness sake! I don't want an embalming done, I don't want an open coffin, I just want to bury my father!"

She got up from her seat at the table and started to pace around the house, trying to stay as quiet as possible. Katie hadn't fallen asleep until five and even then, Tara was still very frightened by Katie's nightmare. She'd only just gotten over her own terrors.

"No, don't put me on hold again! I've been here for an hour!" She stood and stared at her kitchen floor. "Come on, I need to get this done!"

Tara slammed the phone down and put her head in her hands. She couldn't stay in this house any longer or risk going crazy. She wanted to go to the park, Katie hadn't been to a park with proper grass ever. Charming wasn't her favorite place in the world, but she grew up in that park when she was a child. Her parents had picnics with her and she'd first met Jax at that park when she was a child.

She opened her fridge and looked in it. Then she remembered that Katie and her had takeout last night and they hadn't still hadn't gone food shopping. Tara looked at the clock, it was 10:30, which meant if Katie woke up in twenty minutes, she could be at a diner and get them a breakfast, then go to the park and then get some food.

Tara knew her daughter. Katie never woke up later than 11. Sure enough, five minutes later, Katie in her pajamas and holding her teddy bear wondered out, rubbing her eyes. "Mama, who was that man? Who was here last night?"

"A friend." Tara blushed slightly and gave Katie a small hug.

"Like your friend Joey from back home?" Katie muttered and thought about one of her mothers special friends who once tried to sneak out a window.

She coughed and went bright red. "No, nothing like that sweetheart. He and I were old friends, back when I lived here. Speaking of here, I was wondering if you wanted to go to a diner and get breakfast. I can show you where I went to school."

"Okay mama!"

Tara quickly dressed Katie in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that had a large smiley sun on it. It was a special shirt, her dad had gotten it for Katie on one of his visits to Chicago. They'd gone to a museum, out for dinner and had ice cream.

"Okay, let's go sweetheart!" Tara smiled and led Katie out the door and locked the door behind her.

It took twenty minutes to reach the diner. They parked and walked in, immediately were bombarded by laughter and people. There was at least one person in every booth.

Katie grabbed Tara's hand and practically glued herself to her side. "We can go if you want."

"Tara? Tara Knowles? Oh my god!" A voice shouted over the loud kerfuffle inside the diner.

She span around and turned towards the speaker. A tall brown haired man in a police uniform, who she recognized immediately. "David Hale! I haven't seen you since high school."

He stood up and walked over to them. "Wow, Tara! It's been so long, what are you doing now?"

"Well I have a daughter now, Kathryn, she's four, almost five and I'm a surgeon in Chicago."

David gave Katie his hand and she shook it politely. "Hi. Nice to meet you Kathryn."

"I like Katie more."

"Come sit with me, I'd like to catch up with you."

David led the two of them to a quiet corner of the diner and waved his arm at the waitress. Tara and Katie sat down opposite David. The waitress came over and took their orders and then left, leaving the three of them in an companionable silence.

"So, David," Tara started, "you're a cop. I imagine Jacob was happy when he found out."

He laughed and grinned at her. "No, he wanted me to follow in his footstep. Apparently two Hales are better then one."

"Is Unser still in charge, or has the man given up chasing the Sons."

Hale looked down, smile wiped off his face. "Unser is on the Sons payroll. It's up to me to shut them down now."

"Oh. I didn't think he would."

He shrugged. "I guess things don't turn out the way you think."

"They never do."

Hale gave her a small smile. "Anyway, let's forget that Charming is worse now than it was 10 years ago. Tell me about Chicago."

"Well, I went to college and got my degree. I also had Katie." Tara smiled at Hale. "Nearly killed me giving birth, quite literally. But she's all I got now and she's a smart cookie."

"Just like you then. You a single mother?"

Tara nodded and pulled Katie close to her. "Just me and my girl. What about you David. Do you have anyone special?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm married to the job."

The talking ceased for a minute once they received their food, pancakes for Tara, french toast for Katie and a strange looking fruit parfait for David. They all dug in quite happily.

"Mama, why can't you make this at home?" Katie asked once she'd tasted her breakfast.

"I'm afraid I'm not a very good cook munchkin. Ask David if he can make it for you. If I remember correctly, he was a very good cook."

He ducked his head. "Sorry, I live on takeouts these days. I don't have time to cook."

Tara laughed. "When I was in college, I lived on ramen noodles, don't worry, you're not the only one. However, now I got a kid to feed. I gotta give her something of sustenance."

"What's your specialty? Neuro, cardiac..."

"I'm in pediatrics and pre and post-natal. I save babies."

David looked impressed. "Why'd you choose that?"

"Lots of reasons. But when I had Katie, it became very personal because Katie and I weren't too good after she was born. I was in the hospital for a while and she was for a little longer."

David nodded and reached over the table to give her a quick pat on the shoulder. "You heard about Jax's son then. If you're a surgeon."

"Yeah."

"Please don't tell me that you came back for him."

Suddenly the atmosphere around the table became hostile. The tension became so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"I hadn't spoken to him in 10 years and I came back because my father has died."

He went red. "Sorry, I forgot. I just thought..."

"Thought that I'd go back to him? I'm not that silly little high school kid. As soon as everything has been sorted out I'm going back to Chicago."

"That's not what I meant Tara. Jax has always had a way with you and he's dangerous."

Tara abruptly stood up and took Katie's hand. "We should go. I'll see you around David."

He followed them out the door. "Wait! Just be careful around him."

"I always am." Tara muttered under her breath and started her car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right now I'm just setting the scene, so we'll probably get more into the action later. Maybe even the next chapter... Anyway, any mistakes or continuity errors just let me know, any comments or questions, I'll always try to answer. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	6. Chapter Six

Katie and Tara sat on the park bench, admiring the scenery. There were lots of kids running around, climbing on the monkey bars, playing on the swing sets and chasing each other round the climbing frame. Katie had never been anywhere with this much grass and free space. In a way, Tara felt guilty that she had never taken Katie somewhere with this kind of space.

They had only been out of Chicago twice. They went to New York when Katie was eighteen months for a conference and they went to Washington for Christmas with her dad last year.

"Do you want to go play with the other kids munchkin?" Tara asked and gave her a quick side hug.

"No. I don't wanna. I don't know anyone. I want to stay with you."

Tara looked away. She was in a town she'd grown up in and she didn't recognize anyone. Not even the people on the motorcycles in kuttes. 

She did a double take. What were the Sons of Anarchy doing next to a park? Throwing a party?

Staring at them, she tried to pick out anyone that she could recognize, when a truck pulled in. It was beige and brown. The driver stepped out, a small brunette in a grey pullover stormed over to one of the Sons and started to yell.

Tara realized who it was immediately. Donna Winston, if she'd taken Opie's last name. Two kids followed her out the truck and made their way to the park where Katie and Tara were sat. 

She smiled. Looks like Donna still wore the pants in the relationship. "Why don't you go play with those two, they look nice." Tara pointed at the two kids, Jax said Kenny and Ellie were their names.

Katie cocked her head and observed the two of them on the swings. "Okay. Make sure you stay here."

"Promise baby." She gave Katie a kiss on the head and nudged her to the swings.

Tara looked at Donna who seemed to have given up shouting and strode over to where she was sat. Tara rose and waved her hand at Donna. "Hi."

"Knowles!" Donna practically screeched and cautiously approached. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too," Tara reached out and gave Donna a hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you too! I heard about your dad, sorry. I'm assuming that's why you're back." She looked sympathetic and Tara had time to look at her properly for the first time since high school. Donna's hair was cut shorter than before, but still the same color. She seemed tired and had dark shadows under her eyes. 

Tara nodded. "Once the funeral and everything is sorted out, I'll be back in Chicago in time for my kid to start school."

"You have a kid? Wow, I didn't peg you for a mom. You were always the driven one, who would go to college and do all this incredible stuff."

She shrugged. "I'm a surgeon. And I'm a mother. Being both isn't always easy, but I adore my daughter. I heard you have two kids."

"Kenny and Ellie, those two over there on the swings. Which is yours?"

"The small one next to them, her name is Katie."

Donna gave a half smile. "After your mom?"

Tara nodded and then smiled. "Yeah, I think mom would have liked her."

"I don't see a wedding ring and you haven't mentioned a father. Just you?"

"Yeah. At least you had Opie to help."

She laughed hollowly. "That rat bastard was in prison for five years. I was a single mother for a while. Piney and Mary helped out when they could, but mostly it was me. Opie got out a while ago and if he goes near the club, I swear I'll kill him."

"That's the Donna I know."

"Speaking of Opie and his friends, have you spoken to Jax yet? He was talking to Ope about you yesterday when I was at the hospital, apparently you haven't changed a bit."

Tara looked down and blushed a little bit. "Yeah, I saw him at the hospital and he came by last night to catch up."

"Well he is getting a divorce, so are you and him going to reignite that flame?"

"No!" Tara replied indignantly. "We both have children and I'm going back to Chicago once all this funeral stuff ends."

Donna smirked. "You're far too stubborn. But you are right about going back. Tensions are charged here, what with this shit with the Mayans and the gun running."

"I don't want to hear about the Sons and their business transactions. Let's forget about that, tell me about Opie and the kids."

For a good half an hour, the two sat, catching up and talking about how Charming had changed. They avoided any topic that the Sons and Jax were involved in. Tara revealed that Katie's first word had been 'fuck' and Donna revealed that as a baby, Ellie was slightly obsessed with a garden gnome that Piney kept in the cabin.

Then Tara's phone rang. "I'm sorry, I'll be back in a minute, it's my attorney. Probably about the funeral arrangements."

Donna nodded. "Take your time, I'll watch the kids."

"Tara Knowles speaking, what is it?"

Her attorney was a man called Mick Green. "Hi Tara, I'm afraid I have some unfortunate news."

She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. "If this is about the funeral arrangements, I'm trying, I've never done this before, so I'm a little stressed."

"No, it's not about the funeral, Tara I think you ought to sit down for this."

"For what Mick? What's going on?" Millions of situations flooded her head, from her insurance not working, to Katie being put in foster care.

He took a deep breath. "Joshua Kohn has just received probation for good behavior."

Tara's heart stopped. Everything began to freeze. "What?"

"Mr Kohn's lawyers have managed to get him reinstated in his old ATF job and I'm afraid to say, he's trying to get custody of your daughter."

She shook her head vigorously, "That's, that's not possible! I have a restraining order! He was supposed to stay in prison for at least another few years before probation!"

"The judge found a few discrepancies in your case, because you weren't immediately available for an interview and because of underlying circumstances-"

"You mean because he's a cop."

Mick continued ignoring her interruption, "He's being released for good behavior. The restraining order is still active, but he's going to try and get that thrown out."

Tara started to cry. "This can't be happening. He can't get custody of her can he?"

"It's unlikely, but if he can get the restraining order thrown out, he can get a lawyer who will at least be able to get a court date."

She felt light headed and dizzy. "And if he wins?"

"If he can prove that you're an unfit parent, he'll get full custody."

That was the breaking point. Tara collapsed and everything went black.

* * *

 

Jax Teller was already having a bad day. His junkie ex-wife had overdosed in hospital and his son was still critical. Meanwhile Donna was losing her shit at Opie, who wanted back in the Sons and they still had to deal with the burnt down warehouse, courtesy of the Mayans.

Clay was pissed off, his mother was furious and he was just tired.

After his excursion to Tara's last night, he wanted to see his child.

Abel wasn't planned for him but Jax always had a sneaking suspicion that Wendy got pregnant on purpose, just to keep him and he tried to make it work, but he couldn't.

At first he knew he wasn't ready, but now, seeing his child in a glass box with tubes sticking out of him, he thought that he'd do anything to protect him. Instantly, Jax had become a father, when he decided he'd die to protect his child.

He climbed off his bike and walked into the hospital and went up to Abel's room. "Hey little man," Jax whispered the minute he saw him and sat down in the chair that was next to the incubator.

"I promise that I'll keep you safe, no matter what." He whispered and put his hand on the tank and sat there for an hour watching the rise and fall of Abel's chest, watching his eyes and his small movements.

It was unsettling to here the occasional beep of the machinery, but he tried to ignore it. But eventually, he had to leave his bubble where it was just him and Abel and rejoin the real world.

Jax turned his phone on to see three missed calls from Donna, of all people.

He returned her call and she picked up immediately.

"Jax, what happened to always picking up?"

He gave a wry smile, even though he knew she couldn't see it. "What's wrong, has Opie locked the kids in the bathroom like last time?"

"No, it's Tara, she's in the hospital. She collapsed at the park."

"What floor, I'm here right now." Jax got in the elevator and waited for Donna to reply. Even though Tara and him were practically strangers now, she didn't have anyone else in Charming.

"Two, I'm sorry I called you, I just thought that you would like to know, she told me that you spoke last night." Donna sounded like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

Jax pressed the button. "It's fine, what about her kid, is she okay?"

"She's with me right now, freaked out, but other wise unharmed."

The elevator stopped and the doors opened on the second floor. He walked into the waiting room and straight away saw Donna, who was pacing the floor rapidly.

"Donna!" Jax shouted and she stopped.

"Jax, didn't think you'd get here so fast."

He rolled his eyes and then got to business. "What happened?"

"I don't know, she got up for a phone call with her attorney and started pacing, she looked stressed out and then she collapsed."

"What do the doctors say?" He asked, getting impatient.

She shrugged. "I don't know, last I heard she was still unconscious."

"What the hell caused this to happened? I mean how does someone just randomly collapse?"

Donna had no clue and she told him so. "I don't know, she's the doctor, not me."

A small voice piped up from behind them. Katie was lying under Donna's jacket, curled up on the chair and she spoke quietly. "It was the bad man who wants to take me away. Whenever mama gets sick, it's because of the bad man."


	7. Chapter Seven

Slowly, Tara opened her eyes and was nearly blinded by the bright florescent lights. She groaned a little and turned away in an effort to keep her vision.

"Tara? You awake?" A voice came from her left.

"Katie? Where is Katie?" Tara suddenly remembered the phone call and she turned towards the speaker and tried to prop herself up on the bed. The person sat in her room was Jax, but she didn't have time to think about that. She had to think about her kid. "Who is she with?"

Jax walked towards her and put a calming hand on hers. "She's fine Tara, she's with Donna and Opie at their house."

"Can I see her?" Tara's heart was still beating erratically but she was starting to calm down. "Just so I know she's okay. Please Jax."

He sighed, "I'll call Donna, just give me a minute. The doctor will be back soon to take your blood and BP."

Tara tried to relax as Jax walked out of the room, phone in his hand. She wasn't used to being the patient. She definitely wasn't used to Jax in her hospital room. She had only been to the hospital in Charming when her mother was sick. If Jax was injured he either went to Teller Morrow or to her house.

She tapped her leg absently and looked around the room. In the far corner was a strange looking plant that seemed to be dying and across the room there were two solid gray chairs, one of which Jax had been sat in.

When the door opened, mere minutes after Jax had left, Tara nearly had a heart attack. She was already jumpy from the phone call from hell, she didn't need any more surprises. It was him again, with the phone against his ear.

"Yeah, she's here, I'll pass her over."

Jax handed her the phone and she practically snatched it away. "Hello?"

"Mama!"

Tara thought she was going to explode. "Hi baby, are you okay?"

She thought she could picture Katie emphatically nodding, not yet realizing that Tara couldn't see her. "I'm really good mama! Guess what I had for breakfast!"

Breakfast? What time was it? Her head started to spin, but she had to keep it together for now. "What did you have, but if it was Pop Tarts, I won't be happy," she warned and Katie stopped.

"It wasn't Pop Tarts."

Tara gave a quick smile to herself. "I'm sure sweetheart. How are you liking Donna?"

Katie giggled. "She's really funny. She keeps telling me stories, like that time when you pee-peed your pants at school."

"I don't remember that," Tara mused

"Donna does, she said you had to go home early."

She laughed, finally remembering that fateful day. She was about six, and the teacher had told her she had to hold it.

"Mama, when are we going back home. I like home better. I miss my bed and Mr Oliver from next door. And I miss you."

Tara felt incredible guilty. "Hey, sweetheart, we'll be back home soon. I promise. Do you mind passing me over to Donna?"

She could hear background noise and then it was Donna talking. "Hi Tara, you doing okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, just a little light headed? Do you mind bringing Katie round to the hospital?"

"No, not at all. I hope it's okay that I stole you're key to get her a spare pair of clothes, she just looked a bit disheveled."

"That's fine. I'll see you soon." Tara hung up and passed the phone to Jax, who was sat on one of the chairs that was across the room. "Thanks."

He nodded. "No problem darling." He paused like he was about to do something incredibly stupid. "What the hell happened to you?"

Playing innocent probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but Jax even being in her hospital room was a bit of a shock to her system. "What do you mean?"

He rolled his eyes. "Jesus Tara. What do you think I mean? Who the hell gave you a call that shocked you into a faint and don't give me a bullshit answer. I can't help you unless you tell me the truth."

"Why would I need help? I'm not actually staying here, am I." She tried to keep her voice down, but Jax seemed to have no such problems shouting down the whole hospital.

"I'm not an idiot. Something has happened to you. You don't leave Charming and then come back ten years later with a kid with no dad, a dislike of being touched, phone calls that make you faint and really nasty scar on your collar bone. Yes, I noticed."

Tara's hand flew to her chest, to the scar. She could normally hid it quite well, but apparently Jax had seen enough to know a bad injury when he saw one. "It's none of your business. We aren't together anymore. You can't just decide to be a knight in shining armor and come barging into my life and my child's life. You have your own family to worry about."

"This is my town. If there is something up, it's my business to know about it. I don't care if it annoys you Tara, I care about my club and if there is something going on that will threaten the club or Charming, I want to know." Jax ran a hand through his hair and his hand kept twitching to his pocket like he wanted a cigarette. "Even if you're only here for another week."

Maybe it was spite, trying to prove that she had survived for ten years on her own, but she kept her mouth shut about Josh. "You don't have to worry about anything happening to the club. My life isn't that interesting."

He looked like he was going to say something incredibly scathing, but he kept quiet, which for Jax was normally impossible. "You know that I'm always here. We may not be together anymore, but I'll always be here for you."

Tara nodded, all the fight she had was gone. "I know."

Then the door to the room opened. In walked a woman in a pair of scrubs. "Hi, I'm here to take your BP."

She nodded and held her arm out. The nurse did all the tests, explaining what she was doing in a slow voice, like Tara was a child. She didn't particularly care. She was just tired.

That's when Jax got a call. He stayed in the room though but turned away as he hissed into the phone.

Just as the nurse was finishing up, the door opened once again. In barreled Katie. In one jump, she deftly leaped onto the hospital bed, navigated through the wires and threw herself into Tara's arms. 

"Ouch, sweetheart, be careful!" Tara exclaimed as Katie nearly suffocated her with her hug.

Katie looked down guiltily but kept herself firmly planted in Tara's lap.

She looked up at Donna, who walked in with a coffee. "That kid is a spitfire. Nearly lost her in the parking lot."

Tara laughed. "She's definitely spirited. When she was a toddler she managed to get onto the ground floor of our apartment building when I turned around to get a pair of shoes."

"I am curious. She fell off the bed last night, but somehow stayed asleep. Scared the shit out of both of us when we heard the thump. Opie thought someone was trying to break into the house and took a shotgun round the house. She was still wrapped in her blankets."

"In her bed home, she has bars on the side to stop her from rolling out and onto the floor."

The two of them giggled for a few seconds until Jax cleared his throat. "I have to go, just got a call from TM. Remember Tara, don't be a stranger."

He left the three of them in total silence.

"Well," Donna said and took a seat on the chair Jax had vacated. "At least we know you two are on speaking terms, because he did not sound happy earlier."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I had exams when I started this, so I had two weeks off school, but now I'm back, so updates will take a little longer than usual. Sorry about that. 
> 
> Questions, comments and corrections are always welcome, feel free to tell me off if I made any mistakes.


	8. Chapter Eight

Jax climbed onto his bike after leaving the hospital. Gemma had called twice, trying to talk to him, but he let her ring. She would kill him if she found out that Tara was the reason he was a little late to church.

He had a lot on his mind. Wendy had overdosed in the hospital. When she woke up, she said that a friend had given her the stuff. He shook his head. Wendy was never good at lying.

Neither was Tara. And it had something to with that phone call. While they had still been at the hospital, before Donna had taken Katie to her house, Katie had told them about the bad man.

_"It was the bad man who wants to take me away. Whenever mama gets sick, it's because of the bad man." Katie had said wiping her eyes._

_Jax and Donna turned and looked at each. Bad man?_

_Donna dropped to her knees in front of Katie in an effort to make the girl a little more comfortable. Jax hovered behind awkwardly. Donna was a mother, she knew how to deal with children. Jax had been a father for less than two days and he wasn't exactly used to it._

_"What do you mean? What bad man?" she asked, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible in order to stop Katie from bursting into tears like she had earlier._

_Katie's bottom lip trembled. "Mama always tries to keep it a secret. Whenever she's on the phone she always locks the door but once she didn't and I went in and she was crying. She kept saying over my dead body."_

_"Who was she talking to?" Donna asked and gave her a reassuring side hug._

_She shook her head. "I don't know."_

_Jax stared at Donna helplessly and she tried to be little more calming. "Why do you call him the bad man?"_

_"Because he keeps trying to take me away. That's why mama always talks away from me. He always says that he has a right to custard."_

_"Custard? Do you mean custody?"_

_Katie shrugged. "I guess, mama doesn't tell me about it. She says it's dangerous."  
_

_Neither of them knew what to do. That was when Donna's phone rang. "Give me a second, It's Opie."_

_Donna walked away, leaving Jax awkwardly next to Katie, who was nestled in the chair, under Donna's jacket. "Is mama going to be okay?"_

_He sat down next to her and tried to comfort her. "I'm sure she'll be fine kid. Your mom's a tough cookie. She always has been."_

_"What do you mean? Mama isn't a cookie."_

_Jax laughed a little. "No, I mean she's very strong. Nobody tells your mom what to do. Even I couldn't. She used to tell everyone that she was going to become a surgeon, even if nobody wanted her to. Tara used to work really hard when we were in school together. She really enjoyed learning."_

_"I like school too! Just like mama!"_

_"Uh huh. I was never a very good student. Your mother used to help me when we were little kids."_

_Katie started to sit up and watched Jax with bright eyes. "Tell me more! Mama doesn't talk about here. She says it make her sad."_

_His mind started to race, trying to think of stories to tell Katie that were PG. "When your mom was about six, she was really angry at me because I'd stolen some of her legos. To get back at me, she filled my shoes with ice, so when I went to put them back on they were soaking wet and really cold. My mother was really angry at first, but when I told her what had happened she laughed at me and said that I deserved it."_

_"I did that to Joey Greene once. But I didn't use ice. I used pudding. He called me a bad word."_

_Jax laughed, Katie was as vindictive as her mother. "What did he call you?"_

_She looked down. "Promise you won't tell mama?"_

_He nodded._

_"He called me a stupid idiot." Katie whispered and avoided his eyes._

_"Who called who a stupid idiot?" Donna had reappeared still with her phone in her hand. "Katie, was it Jax?"_

_"It was nobody!" Jax jumped in before Katie could. "What did Opie want?"_

_"I gotta pick up Ellie and Kenny from school. It's almost three. He said normally he would, but I have the truck."_

_"Go, I'll stay here and watch her until Tara wakes up."_

_Donna nodded and gave Katie a quick hug. "Jax is going to stay here with you until your mom wakes up."_

_Katie nodded and curled up even tighter in a ball. Any time anyone else came anywhere near her, she seemed to push back into her shell. "Okay."_

_"Jax do you mind coming over here?"_

_"Yeah no problem." He stood up and followed Donna away to the other end of the room._

_"The doctor came over and told me that she's physically fine. He thinks it was shock. They have no clue when she's going to wake up, it could be in a minute, it could be in a day. She's not sedated or anything but she does have an IV." Donna rattled up the doctors diagnosis. "If Tara isn't awake by about seven, I'll take Katie to mine and get her something to eat and let her sleep in an actual bed."_

_"I'll stay til Tara wakes up, but if Clay calls, I'll get Gemma down here. She wouldn't miss a chance to see Abel."_

_Donna gave him a quick smile and gave Katie another quick hug. "I'll see you soon sweetheart."_

_Jax went to sit next to Katie. She was suddenly very quiet and her dark hair was coming out of its braid. "Can I see mama?"_

_"I don't think so kid. I'm sure you'll see her soon."_

_"Soon."_

She was a sweet kid, a little bit precocious and a lot like her mother. He strapped his helmet on and rode off. He had to get to the TM before Clay flew off on him about going MIA for so long.

 

* * *

 

The doctors let her go home after checking her out for a few minutes. Tara was okay with that, but she just really wanted to go home. Or as close to home as she could. Katie was already crashing from her sugar high and kept begging to go home to watch cartoons.

The two of them took a cab back to the house, Tara hoping to find the cutlass in the driveway.

Her wish had been fulfilled and it was in her driveway. On the hood was a note.

_Tara,_

_Got the prospect to tow your car back from the park._

_It's in pretty shitty shape though, I'd get it checked out._

_-Jax_

She shook her head smiling. She definitely appreciated the grand gesture.

Katie ran straight into the house and threw herself down in front of the television. Tara went into the kitchen and sat down and ran her hand through her hair.

Her stress levels were through the roof. Everything was coming going wrong. Her dad, David and now Josh getting out of prison.

All she could think about was Katie. Josh had never even met her, but he had tried to use a third party to send letters and presents. Tara moved to a new apartment pretty quickly after. Once, just once he had managed to call her. But she was always safe and knew he was in prison and that he couldn't get to her. 

On a whim, she turned away and went to her dad's office. There was a computer that he used to have, dusty and old he kept in there.

It was still there. She turned it on and waited for it to power up.

She typed his name in and left her finger hovering over the key. She almost didn't want to look.

Curiosity got the better of her and she pressed it.

_Law Enforcement Officer Released After Circumstantial Evidence._

How was the evidence circumstantial? She clicked and read through the article growing increasingly fearful. The charges were dropped because it was her word against his, the rape kit and the hospital records had been thrown out, he had no priors, and he was trying to see his kid.

So pretty much he'd gotten his ATF friends to get in with the judge.

Tara immediately picked up the phone and called Mick. She got an appointment with one of his people who was located close to Charming and shut down the computer.

She went into the kitchen, trying to keep her head clear and stop herself from thinking about it. Once again, she grabbed the phone.

"Do you mind coming to watch Katie?" Tara asked Donna while she made lunch for the two of them. Katie was still sat watching television. The appointment was in almost three and a half hours and she was still terrified about anyone coming round that she didn’t know.

She would normally bring Katie, but she was worried that _he_ would be there. She knew it was irrational, but Tara couldn't help it. Ever since that phone call, she had been jumpy and flinched at even the slightest motion towards her.

Besides, Tara doubted that Katie would enjoy being cooped up in an office while Tara filed paperwork.

"I'm sorry, I have work."

"It's fine, I'll find someone else." She sounded calm, but she was frightened. She would ask Jax, but she didn’t want to bother him and she definitely didn’t want her near Gemma or the club.

Donna sounded apologetic. "There's a woman who takes care of some kids around the club, Neeta. I can see if she'll take her for a few hours."

"I don't know. I don't really want her running around the club." Tara trusted Donna and her judgement, but she was a little wary.

"I get that, but Neeta is an old friend. She took care of Kenny and Ellie a lot while I was working and Ope was away. Katie won't be anywhere near the club, I can promise you."

She gave Neeta’s number. “I’ll call her, let her know that you’re going to be in touch.”

Tara thanked her and took a quick moment to grab a drink and serve Katie her macaroni and cheese.

Her phone rang moments later, an unknown number. Tara cautiously picked it up and breathed a sigh of relief. It was Neeta. The two of them came to an agreement and Neeta agreed to come round in half an hour.

"Sweetheart, I have to go out for a while. I got someone to come round and watch you. Her name is Neeta."

"Okay!" The world could come to an end while cartoons were on and Katie wouldn't notice or care.

She just hoped that it wouldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be updating pretty consistently because all my classes have been cancelled. Any continuity issues, let me know, I'll try and fix them, as well as any grammar errors.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	9. Chapter Nine

As Tara climbed out of the cutlass, she felt herself fill with fear. She didn't want to imagine what was behind those doors. She didn't want to think about going in, but she needed to.

The California sun was blinding and even in the tarmac radiated with heat. She didn't know why it was so hot, why she felt like she was going to burst into flames. Tara brushed her hair out of her eyes and thought about Chicago, where in the winter if you didn't wear the warmest two to three jackets you had, you would turn into a block of ice.

Tara slammed the car door and turned to walk into the building. She hoped she was at least capable of keeping a clear head this time.

"Davis Mitchell Attorneys office, how may I help you?" A young receptionist asked, clicking on her keyboard with an earpiece nestled in her hair.

"I have an appointment with," Tara paused and looked down at a piece of paper to check the name, "Isaac Bradley? At four o'clock."

The receptionist kept clicking on the computer. "Tara Knowles, yes, Mr. Bradley is with a client now, but if you take a seat in the waiting room I'll come and get you when he's free." She gestured towards an open door and Tara followed her gaze.

The room was quite full, of the dozen chairs, there was only three empty. Tara took a seat on the chair closest to the door and took a quick glance around the room. It was mostly middle-aged men in suits and one or two women. She was definitely the youngest looking one there.

She sat for about ten minutes, trying to suppress her fears, until she was called in.

"Follow me to Mr. Bradley's office, Miss Knowles." The receptionist said and led her down several corridors until the office.

Tara pushed open the door and in there was a young man, staring down at some papers. He looked up as she walked in. "Miss Knowles I presume. Mick told me about your predicament, come, take a seat."

She sat opposite him in a cushioned chair as he pulled a large file out. "Mick faxed over everything and I took the liberty of reading it earlier."

"It's very heavy isn't it?" She winced as she stared at the papers.

He chuckled. "Yes it is and it's not something a sane person would read. I am very sorry that this has happened to you."

She shrugged. Apologies rarely fix what one has suffered. But she appreciated his gesture. "Thank you, but I'd like to focus on how to stop it from happening again. Is there any way to stop his release?"

He flipped through the papers and stopped maybe a third through. "Looking at these files, there should be no way he should be released, but his position as a officer of the law gives him an advantage. If the medical report is thrown out as well as the previous files, everything else will follow. Your safest bet to keep him away is the restraining order."

"What about custody? Is it possible? Can he take my daughter away?"

"Incredibly unlikely for him to get full custody, but he might be able to get visitation. Unless he proves you to be an unfit mother, who is nearly impossible, you're a surgeon with a steady income and a suitable home in a safe place. She's in a good daycare and is very well adjusted. Currently he's a ex-con, even if he was proven 'innocent.'"

Tara fiddled with her necklace. "Can we appeal his release? Can I send a letter to the judge and lawyer petitioning his release?"

Mr. Bradley shrugged, "You can try, but letters don't always help. I'll try and get help from one of my friends, he specializes in domestic violence. It should help your case.”

The two of them sat for an hour and a half trying to come up with ways to delay, if not prevent the impending release.

Tara felt like she had aged twenty years. She would check her phone every few minutes to see if anyone called, Neeta, Donna or even Jax. She couldn't help it. She was frightened by the idea that Katie was alone, even in Charming with the Sons riding around.

“Thanks, I really appreciate the help Mr. Bradley.” Tara smiled and shook his hand.

“It was a pleasure to meet you too, I’ll have my friend contact you soon.” He led her out. “I hope that everything goes well.”

* * *

 

Jax knocked on Tara’s door. He was a little surprised to see her daughter open the door. Tara had told him that she rarely, if ever let Katie open the door. Her own mother had never let her open the door on her own. “Is your mom here?”

Katie shook her head and looked behind her. “Neeta’s here. She’s making lemonade for me! Mama’s out.”

“So you know when she’ll be back?” Jax asked. He wanted to talk to her about Abel. She may not work at Saint Thomas, but she was in neo-natal at Chicago Presbyterian and had to know something about being born premature.

She shrugged. “Do you want to come in? Neeta was going to play a game with me!” Katie grabbed his sleeve and dragged him in.

"Do you want to play monopoly?" he asked as the three of them sat on the floor.

Katie nodded and selected the dog as her game piece. "Mama is always the battleship but I think the dog is cute. He looks like Toto from the Wizard of Oz."

"You like the Wizard of Oz?" He asked.

She emphatically nodded and started to pass out the money, hiding a few extra bills under the board, looking around at them suspiciously.

Jax laughed and picked up the car while Neeta took the thimble. Then they started the game.

Tara arrived home maybe half an hour later. When the door opened, Katie completely abandoned their monopoly game and raced towards her mother.

“Hey munchkin how was your day?” He could hear her ask.

“It was great! Neeta made lemonade and played monopoly with me and Jax!” Tara walked into the living room with Katie on her hip and raised her eyebrows at Jax.

“Did he cheat at monopoly?” Tara asked and sat down on the floor next to Neeta. "He was a notorious cheat whenever I used to play with him."

“Shockingly, not. There wasn’t any cheating what so ever.” Neeta replied. “I should probably get going Tara. It was nice to meet you Katie.”

Katie smiled and jumped up to give her a hug.

Jax stayed on the ground until Tara came back into the living room. “Katie is getting some more lemonade. Care to explain why you’re here?”

Jax got up from the floor and sat on the couch. Tara sat next to him. “I have some questions about Abel. You work in neo-natal and I figured that you could explain better than the other doctor.”

Tara looked a little pale, “Who is the other doctor?”

“I think it’s the guy who did the surgery, Doctor Namid. He’s been rather busy so he hasn’t fully explained,” Jax paused, trying to come up with the right words, “The gravity of the situation.”

She nodded and took a deep breath and then attempted to explain her knowledge of his son’s condition.

It took fifteen minutes for him to get a clear grasp of the challenges Abel was facing. To be honest it was terrifying to him.

Along with his heart defect, Abel had a tear in his stomach. Doctor Namid had said that Abel had maybe a 20% to 30% chance of survival. Tara concurred.

“Jax, I know how you feel and I once felt the same. If Abel is anything like you, he’ll be fighter, and if he’s anything like Gemma, you won’t be able keep him quiet.”


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for all the kudos and comments! I really appreciate them! And thank you all for bearing with me for taking so long to update. 
> 
> Without further ado, here is Chapter 10!

It took Tara hours to get Katie into bed after Jax left. She was so hopped up on sugar and new friends that she was practically bouncing off the walls.

"Mama? Can we go see Jax tomorrow, he's so much fun!" She had said after he'd left and Tara was attempting to put her into her pyjamas. "Please mama! He promised he would teach me how to play poker! What's poker?"

"If he teaches you how to play poker, I won't be happy." She raised her eyebrows at her daughter who opened her eyes as wide as possible. "Arms, lift your arms."

Katie obediently lifted her arms and pouted at her mother. "Please mama? Can I play poker?"

On went her Hello Kitty top, then her pyjama bottoms. As Tara turned her around to braid her hair, she thought about Jax and about their lives when the two of them had been together.

Back when they had dated, Tara had imagined their life together if she’d have stayed, gotten married and become an old lady like Gemma and Donna.

Walking into the living room and seeing Jax sat with Katie playing a game together. It made all of those memories and dreams come back.

“Mama, I like Jax. Can we please see him?”

Tara ran a brush through her hair and closed her eyes. “Katie, we’re going back to Chicago after the funeral. We won’t see Jax again after that. “

Katie slumped her shoulders and looked down. “But I like Jax. He makes me laugh and he says that I look like you when you were little like me.”

“Munchkin, you have school in September and I have a job. But, if you really want, we can see Jax again. There’s funfair coming to town soon. We can go with Donna, Opie and the kids. I’m sure Jax will be there.”

She squealed and spun around to give her mother a hug. “When?”

Tara frowned. “In a few days I think. We’ll head back to Chicago after the carnival.” She kept brushing Katie’s hair and than started to braid it.

“Mama? Why did you have to go somewhere today? Was it because of the bad man?” Katie asked as Tara was finishing up.

Her hands froze and her heart suddenly started to beat faster. She had always resolved to be honest with her, to tell her the truth about him, but suddenly she was frightened. Was today the day? In the rehearsals she’d had with herself, Katie was older. Much older. Old enough to understand that Kohn was evil and that she wouldn’t be able to make him into the father that she would want.

Katie deserved a father, but Tara refused to put her in danger. She had lost her mother when she was eight and even though her father had died days ago, she had been an orphan long before that. She didn’t want the same for her child.

She took a deep breath. “Yes, it was because of the bad man. But don’t worry, the bad man won’t ever hurt anyone again.”

“But he hurt you? Mama, if he won’t hurt anyone again why did he hurt you?”

Tara tried to come up with some way to soften what she had to say. “Because he could. He wanted something and figured that I would let him take it.”

Katie turned around on the bead and looked at her mother dead in the eyes. Katie’s hazel eyes met Tara’s and she looked almost frightening. “Why don’t I have a daddy?”

“What?”

“Abel has a daddy, you have a daddy, Kenny and Ellie have a daddy. Why can’t I have a daddy?” Katie had started to ask questions and Tara didn’t want to think about where they would lead.

What was she supposed to say? Your daddy is in prison, but not for much longer because he’s getting out, throwing out the restraining order and trying to take you away from me. “Sometimes, children don’t have daddies. There are lots of reasons why. But it’s not possible for you to see your daddy.”

“But why? I want a daddy!” She started to well up and tears threatened to spill.

Tara didn’t know what to say or do. “Your daddy did some very bad things, to me and you. He wanted to hurt us and the safe thing was to stay away. Katie, everything I have ever done was to keep you safe.”

“I want a daddy! It’s not fair! Why won’t you let me have a daddy?” Katie was starting to have a full blown tantrum and Tara knew that nothing would calm her down, that she’d have to ride out the storm.

Despite her knowledge of her daughter’s temper tantrums, Tara couldn’t help but feel irritated. She had far to many absent father issues and she didn’t want to reminisce about Joshua with Katie.

When she was a little girl, maybe a tad older than Katie, she had thought that she was the luckiest girl in the world. She had a wonderful mother and father, friends and a teddy bear called Norman.

She felt guilty that her daughter lived in a shitty Chicago apartment while she tried to pay her way through medical school. She wouldn’t go to a private school. But what Tara felt the guiltiest about was her lack of family. There was just Tara. No grandparents, no aunts, uncles or other family members.

“I’ll be in the living room.” Tara said as Katie started to bawl and scream that she hated her mother for not letting her have a father.

As she went into the living room, she started to think about how Katie had only her. Originally, if something was to happen to her, Katie would go to live with her father, but now with her father in the ground, she had no more family in case anything happened to her.

Tara sat on the couch and buried her head in her hands. What would happen to Katie?

She couldn’t ever allow Joshua anywhere near here, but who would keep her safe?

Time seemed to speed by, minutes felt like seconds and suddenly a small creaking noise came from behind her.

Katie slinked out of her room. Her face was blotchy and red and her dark brown hair was falling out of its braid and getting stuck to her teary cheeks. “Mama?”

Tara nodded and replied, “Yes?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I don’t need a daddy, I have you.” Katie held out her arms and Tara did the same.

She leapt into them and buried her small face in her mother’s hair. “It’s okay munchkin, I love you.”

“I love you too mama and I’m really, really, really sorry. I promise I won’t do that again.” Katie started to cry again and wrapped her small arms around Tara’s neck, holding her as tight as she could, like she would never let go.

“Come on, I’ll take you to bed and read you a story.”

Katie perked up immediately. “Can you read me the story about the princess and the frog? Or Rapunzel? Can you read me Rapunzel? Please?”

Tara sighed happily and picked her daughter up and carried her into the bedroom. “Promise you’ll go straight to bed after I finish though munchkin. We have an early start tomorrow.”

“I will mama.”

After Katie was asleep, Tara thought about Jax. She thought about what he would do in her position. If his son was completely on his own, with only himself and father who was in trouble all the time.

“Fuck it,” she whispered to herself and reached for the phone. She dialled a number that she’d known since she was a child. She stood up and paced around holding the phone to her ear, fiddling with her necklace. “Come on, come on.”

“The number this call has been directed to has been disconnected. Please try another call.” An automated voice came through. Tara swore quietly and hung up the phone. When she was a little girl she used to call her mothers voicemail. She did it to feel closer to her, to make herself feel wanted, like her mother could always pick up and listen to her problems and all her feelings. The last time she did it was the night she left for Chicago.

Her father called it stupid, but he never disconnected the phone. It must have changed when she decided to leave.

Jax didn’t even know. She kept him on the good sides of her home life. Which meant not telling him about her mother and trying to keep him away from her father.

_“Get out of here, my dad is home.” Tara glared at him from the crack in the door. It was 11 o’clock and Jax had decided to start pounding on the door while her father was home._

_He staggered towards her, holding a bottle of Jack Daniels. “Tara,” he slurred, grinning like a mad man. “Want to go out, you’re missing a party.”_

_“Fuck off! Fuck off and go get sober. If you want to come round during the day I’ll happily come out with you.” She moved to shut the door but he jammed his foot in to stop her._

_“Please Tara, I want to show you off.” He gave her puppy dog eyes. “Come on.”_

_“Jax, go!”_

_Suddenly creaking came the coach and Tara’s heart began to beat faster and faster. “Who the fuck is at the door!”_

_“Nobody dad!” She called back in the house. “Get out of here, please or my dad will come beat the shit out of you for darkening his porch.”_

_A hand landed on her shoulder and Tara flinched. He had never hit her, but had threatened her. “Get the fuck out of the way.”_

_“Go!” She gave him a quick push before she herself was pulled into the house. “Dad, it’s nothing. Just go back in.”_

_“Bullshit Tara. Get out of my way.”_

_Tara backed up and let her father muscle her out of the way so he could step outside. “Dad it’s really nothing.”_

_“The hell it’s nothing! What the fuck are you doing at my house?” He slammed the door in Tara’s face, leaving him and Jax outside alone._

_She didn’t want to open the door and see the two of them, so she kept the door shut like a coward until her father walked back in._

_“That little jackass won’t be darkening our door anymore.” He said maliciously and slammed the door behind him._

_She stood there until he went back into his study and then a little longer. She stood there until her legs started to feel numb and her feet heart rate had slowed down. Then Tara went upstairs and sat on her bed thinking about what her father had done. What he’d become._

_Then came a knock on her window._

_At first she stayed put, but then her curiosity got the better of her. She tiptoed over, and there, standing at her window, was Jax looking considerably more sober than earlier._

_Tara opened her window and hissed at him, “What the hell are you doing? Do you want another verbal and physical beat down from my father?”_

_He rolled his eyes. “Physical? Please. He would have collapsed if he walked two more steps.” Jax hoisted himself through the window and sat on her bed. “I can see why you wanted me gone though. He’s a freaky guy.”_

_“Yeah, so get out of here!”_

_“Come on Tara? Kicking me out again? At least let me make out with you for a while.”_

_Her eyes widened in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”_

_“Hey, I’m all about that fairy tale babe.”_


	11. Chapter Eleven

That night Tara had a nightmare. When she woke up she couldn’t remember it, but she knew that she was frightened. Her heart was beating erratically, she was soaked in a cold sweat and her brain was working in overdrive.

She was going to check in Katie, but before she could get out of bed, the door creaked and it pushed open.

“Mama? Are you awake?” She wandered into her bedroom, dragging her Winnie the Pooh blanket behind her. “I can’t sleep.”

Tara nodded, moved over and patted the empty side so Katie could climb and snuggle in with her. “Come on sweetheart.”

She climbed up onto the bed and snuggled in to her mother. “I keep waking up and I can’t go back to sleep.”

“I know how you feel munchkin.” Tara stroked her back and pulled her in tight. “But you’ll be fine.”

“Why are you still awake? Mama?” Katie poked her in the arm.

“Bad dreams.”

Katie turned her head so she was looking directly at her mother. “What do you have bad dreams about?” Tara froze, but Katie kept talking. “I had a bad dream about a scary goat once. It chased me up a mountain.”

She tried to stifle a giggle. “A goat?”

“It was green and had blue and yellow spots. It was really scary!” Katie started to push histrionics.

“I’m sure it was.” Tara pulled her closer and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Do you want to sleep in here tonight?”

Katie nodded and clambered under the covers until only the top of her head was sticking out. “Mama? I’m sorry about yelling at you. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Her voice came out muffled and very slowly she looked up so her big bright eyes peered over the covers.

Tara sighed quietly and pulled Katie up, wrapping her arms around her. “It’s okay munchkin.”

“Can you tell me a story? Please? Before I can sleep I have to have a story,” Katie whispered. “Please?”

“You have me wrapped around your little finger.” She laughed slightly and tickled her ribs. “What do you want to hear?”

Katie glanced up to her mother and made puppy dog eyes. “Can you tell me a story about you? When you were little before you had me?”

She leaned back against the headboard contemplating the question. “Alright. What story would you like? My first day in second grade, my seventeenth birthday, my high school graduation or my first apartment?”

“Graduation! Tell me about your graduation! What’s graduation?”

“It’s when you leave school,” she explained.

“Yeah! Tell me a story about that!”

Tara took a deep breath and thought about it, resolving to keep it relatively happy. She definitely wasn’t going to tell the whole story. “It was a sunny June day and I was not ready for the end of school to happen…

_“Dad! Where are you?” Tara shouted as she changed into a flattering summer dress to put on under her graduation gown. Her hair was in soft brown curls and her nails were painted a pale blue color. She had always found nail polish impractical but Donna had sworn to her that if Tara did not put in full effort she would chase her off the stage with a pitchfork._

_Her father didn’t reply with words but rather a few loud grunts that she could have mistaken for snores if she didn’t know better._

_“Okay, great. I’ll see you after I’m graduated.” Tara muttered then pulled on her sandals._

_She grabbed her purse from the table and slung it over her shoulder. She was supposed to get a drive from Jax, but he had club business so she was going to walk. Tara didn’t mind though. She needed to clear her head, think about how she was going to tell Jax about being accepted into Chicago medical school._

_Originally she was thinking about going to community college with Jax, but then he dropped out and her father had lost his job. She started thinking about improving her life and other people’s as well. On a whim she applied. Then she was accepted, something she had never though would happen._

_Tara hadn’t even considered what she would tell Jax. How would the conversation work? “Oh Jax, sorry I never told you but I applied to a college in Chicago, across the country. I’m heading off at the end of summer.”_

_She locked the front door and tucked the keys into her bag. Charming residents were usually safe, but she liked to be careful since Jax became a full time member._

_It took twenty minutes to reach the school and those twenty minutes sped by despite Tara dawdling along as slow as possible, dreading looking over the crowd and seeing polite clapping, but no real serious adoration that her mother and father would have shown ten years ago._

_Tara walked into the crowd filled with teenagers wearing their graduation gowns and caps, past parents taking pictures and siblings looking sullen. Suddenly she felt incredibly alone._

_“Tara? Do you have your cap and gown? You have to go see the secretary she has all the clothes.” One of the teachers grabbed Tara and directed her to front of the school. She tried to look through the mass of people, but she couldn’t see where the gowns were._

_She clutched her bag tighter and maneuvered her way through the throng people until she reached the school and saw people holding their things._

_The gowns were a light blue with a gold trim, the same with the caps. Tara received hers and put it on. She was directed backstage to stand with the rest of the students with the last name starting with K. She saw Donna with her parents and a few of her other friends with their siblings._

_Her heart sank and she wanted to cry. Everywhere there was celebration. Her classmates were chattering excitedly with their families and the noise rose until it became almost deafening. So deafening that Tara nearly raised her hands to cover her ears._

_She started to feel faint. Her hands started to shake uncontrollably and her head began to spin. She couldn’t stay and listen. She turned on her heel and headed through the crowd. Tara used all of her self-control not to run away as fast as she could. She thought that she was about to burst into tears. She slid past the teachers patrolling the crowd and raced into the street_

_She ended up outside the cemetery, staring at the wrought iron gates. At least she would see somebody she loved today. Her mother was buried near the edge of the cemetery, near the woods. On Easter she would hide chocolate eggs around the woods and the three of them would hunt for them. It was a fitting spot for her final resting place._

_Against the dark backdrop of the woods, the pale granite looked ghostly and as Tara reached the site she stared at the engraving. Kathryn Anne Knowles, Beloved Wife and Mother; read the gravestone. Tara laid a gentle hand on the top of the granite. She then sat against the back of the tomb thinking about her mother._

_She looked like her. Dark hair, bright eyes and a voice that was soft, but crackling and harsh when it had to be. Kathryn Knowles had a wicked sense of humor, sense of justice and fierce protective instincts. Just like Tara._

_“Hi mom. I miss you,” she started to say, but she got choked up and began to cry. “I’m graduating today and I’m going to medical school in Chicago. I got a scholarship. I have a boyfriend who I love. I think you would like him. Dad doesn’t, but he doesn’t like anyone,” she trailed off, thinking about her father. “He misses you to mom. We both do.”_

_That was when the dam broke and Tara began to sob, awful, heartbreaking sobs. She cried because her father was too drunk to remember her graduation, let alone get off the couch to go. She cried because Jax was off in Tacoma doing who knows what with the club while she was on her own and because she was a daughter without a mother. She cried because her mother wouldn’t be there for her milestones in the future. She wouldn’t see her graduate college, get married or have children. She wouldn’t see her become a doctor and save someone’s life and she wouldn’t see her happy again._

_Tara didn’t want to leave that spot. She wanted to stay forever. She didn’t care about her diploma, all she wanted was to be with her mother again. She would give anything to see her again, to have her tell her everything was going to be okay. For her to hold her tightly and hum a lullaby to her and give her a handkerchief to wipe away the tears._

_Her sobs quieted and she began to gather herself. She wiped her eyes daintily with a tissue from her purse and examined her face with a little mirror. Mascara tears ran down to her chin and the lipstick she had on was smeared around her lips. She rubbed all the make-up off until she was completely fresh faced._

_Tara’s eyes were red and her cheeks flushed. She let a few more tears fall, then stood up properly. She bent down and gave her mother’s grave a small kiss then turned around, brushing tears from her lashes._

_Standing a respectful distance away, smoking a cigarette was Jax. She smiled despite herself and made her way towards him._

_“Smoking in a cemetery. That’s not a good way to honor the dead,” Tara said as she reached him. Jax gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and stepped back, looking her up and down with an eyebrow raised._

_“Disappearing on poor Donna like that wasn’t very nice either,” he shrugged and took another drag, holding the smoke in his lungs for a few seconds._

_“What are you doing here anyway Jax? I thought you were in Tacoma,” she asked and wiped her eyes again._

_“I wad going to surprise you, but I got to the school and surprise, surprise,” he gave her a pointed look, “you’d disappeared.”_

_Tara had the grace to look slightly embarrassed._

_“I figured you’d be here. We should head back before Donna calls the police,” Tara started to walk towards the gates, but Jax called for her to wait._

_“I’m sorry your mother and father won’t be there, but I will. You won’t be alone up there, I promise.”_

_When her name was called to receive her diploma, the steps up to the stage were a blur. As soon as she reached them however, everything became crystal clear. She was going to go to Chicago. She would become a doctor and she would be someone who made a difference._

_As she received her diploma and shook the outstretched hand, Tara quickly glanced towards the audience. She saw light clapping from all the members of the audience and scanned for Jax. She saw Donna’s parents politely smiling and kept searching around. She looked at the center of the crowd and standing there, on his feet surrounded by the rest of the sons, was Jax.”_

Tara looked down to her daughter and softly laughed. Katie was steadily breathing with her face buried in her mother’s pillow. Tara lightly lifted her and flipped her over so she could sleep. She didn’t know when she had fallen asleep; she had been far too wrapped up in her memories.

She pushed her dark hair behind her ear and looked down at her daughter. How on earth she grew so quickly was beyond her. It seemed like yesterday that the nurses had handed Katie to her. A squalling little girl swaddled in a blanket, attempting to kick her way out.

Looking now, she was stiller than death. Tara could feel her breathing, but she was totally dead to the world. An earthquake, tornado and solar flare rolled into one couldn’t wake her once she was sleeping deeply.

Tara pulled the blanket over her own body, curled up next to her daughter and closed her eyes. She could almost forget about the release of Joshua occurring the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more filler than anything, there will be actual substance in the next chapter, I swear.
> 
> Any questions, comments and suggestions I will gladly take aboard. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter Twelve

Tara woke up to Katie jumping up and down on the bed, coming dangerously close to her legs. “Get up mama! I’m really hungry!”

She rolled over, trying to bury herself in the covers while avoiding Katie’s erratic jumps that spanned from the foot of the bed to right next to her head.

“Mama! Please! Get up!” Katie bent down next to her mother and started to shout, “Mama! I’m hungry!”

Tara poked her head out of the blankets and looked blearily at her daughter, “What time is it munchkin?”

Katie turned her head to look at the alarm clock by the bed, “Five, two and seven. Come on mama I want waffles!”

5:27 in the morning and Katie was already leaping around the house like a bunny. “Katie, baby, Mama is really tired, I have to sleep.”

Katie dramatically threw herself to the ground and rolled over to the edge of the bed, “I’m bored, and I want to do something.”

Tara sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “How about I get you some cereal and put on cartoons. Would that be okay?”

“Okay, but I still want waffles.” Katie crawled off the bed and wandered into the kitchen. Tara sat up in bed and followed her into the kitchen, picking up a towel from the floor as she walked and throwing it in the laundry basket, “Mama, the phone is ringing!”

“For goodness sake, what the hell does someone want at 5 in the morning?” Tara muttered. She was tired, stressed out and desperately wanted to go back home. She had a sudden pang of homesickness. She wanted to be back in Chicago, at work saving lives. She wanted to be back at their apartment, with the familiar vanilla scent and olive green walls. But more than that, she wanted to go back to sleep.

As she walked into the kitchen, she saw Katie sat on the carpet with the phone against her ear, “Mama is still asleep, she really likes to sleep and she really hates when I jump on her. Oh look, she’s awake! Mama, someone is on the phone!”

“Yes I know sweetheart, I’m coming. Who is it on the phone?”

Katie tilted her head at her mother, “Who are you again?” she paused, and nodded like she had seen her mother do when she talked. She frowned and nodded again. “It’s a lady called Gemma. She says that she knows you.”

Gemma? What did Gemma want at 5 o’clock in the morning? “Pass me the phone sweetheart,” Tara held out her hand.

“Hello? Gemma?” Tara asked and made her way into the kitchen to make Katie some cereal. “Is there any reason you’ve called me this early?”

“Yes, there is. Is Jackson there? He didn’t come home last night. He’s not at the club or the hospital.” Tara could detect the exasperation in her voice.

“No. He’s not here. Has it occurred to you that he’s a grown man and doesn’t have to check in with you at every turn?” she poured some Cheerios into a plastic purple bowl.

“I don’t want Cheerios! I want Lucky Charms! Mama I want Lucky Charms!” Katie started to jump up and down in frustration. “I want Lucky Charms!”

Meanwhile, on the phone Gemma was insulting Tara, “He may be an adult, but he is still my son and at least I care enough about my child to check in on him unlike a certain father. Tell me if he’s there or not Tara.”

“No, he’s not here,” Katie was still jumping up and down, complaining about her Cheerios, “Kathryn Isabelle Knowles, I swear to all that is holy, shut the hell up!”

Suddenly, there was silence on both fronts. Gemma was silent, and Katie was staring at her cheerios. Then, almost like a whisper Katie spoke, “Mama, I want Lucky Charms.”

“Kathryn,” Tara started, while still holding the phone. “We don’t have Lucky Charms.”

“Okay,” Katie turned around silently and went into the living room, dragging her heels.

“Gemma, I have to go. Jax isn’t here.” She hung up and put the phone down, trying to ignore the pounding in her head.

Tara rubbed her eyes and leaned against the kitchen counter. She adored her daughter, but sometimes she drove her mad. She went through the cupboards to try and find the Lucky Charms for Katie, but it turns out she was right the first time, there were none. Tara pressed her palms into the counter and took a deep breath. For a few minutes, Tara stood there in the quiet. She tried to calm herself down, put on a smile and counted to ten.

“Katie, munchkin, I’m sorry I lost my temper, I’ll get you Lucky Charms when we go home,” she walked into the living room. “I promise,”

She wasn’t there. The entire living room was empty. No toys, no cartoons on the TV and no Katie.

“Kathryn, where are you? I’m sorry about earlier, sweetie where are you?” Tara’s voice raised few decibels, “Katie?”

Deafening silence provided her an answer. Tara tore through the living room, into the bathroom, Katie’s room then her own room. “Katie! Katie sweetheart, where are you, please come out!”

She moved to the front door and raised a trembling hand. It was unlocked.

It was almost like a switch was flipped in her head and Tara flung open the door to a darkened street. She looked both ways expecting to see a small figure illuminated by streetlight but there was nothing.

Tara supposed she looked very strange, standing barefoot in the dark wearing her flannel pajamas and overlarge Cubs jersey, hair tied back haphazardly in a ponytail. “Katie?”

She ran down the street, fear filling her so much she couldn’t focus. “Katie! Katie where are you? Baby?”

Tara reached for her phone to call the police, but realized she left her phone in the house. She called out one last time in sheer desperation, but there was no reply.

She ran back to the house and rummaged through her purse, throwing out Band-Aids, pictures and her wallet. Finally, she came to her phone and called David Hale.

For a few agonizing moments, the phone rang, and then a drowsy voice came on. “Hello, who is it?”

“David? It’s me, I can’t find Katie, can you please come over?” Tara didn’t try to hide the terror in her voice.

Immediately, he was alert, like his police officer side was waiting to come out. “I’m on my way, same address?”

“Yes.”

The phone went dead and Tara went back outside, running back through the streets. Katie didn’t know the streets here, she didn’t know many people and she didn’t know where home was. Tara kept calling desperately, waiting for Katie to pop out at her, in those Hello Kitty pajamas with the blood stain from a nosebleed that she had gotten a few months ago but had never washed out properly.

She heard the police siren wailing and let a little bit of relief fill her heart, David was here, everything would be okay when David got here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this took ages to come out, and I wanted to apologize, but I have it done now! I know it's a little short, but I felt like a cliffhanger. I swear the next one won't be.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Ever since Katie had been born, she was the most important thing in Tara’s life. She was so small that like Abel, she was in an incubator for weeks. And like Abel, she was an emergency C-section that had nearly killed Tara.

_She tried in vain to open her eyes, but she couldn’t. Her arms felt heavy and she couldn’t feel her legs at all. She felt strangely empty, her head and belly ached._

_Tara was missing something, something that mattered more than anything else in the world._

_Using all the strength left in her broken, sore body, she opened her eyes._

_The florescent white lights blinded her immediately and she shut her eyes again. Tara tried once again to see where she was, obviously a hospital but why. She tried to think back to her last memory._

_Joshua was there, but she couldn’t remember what happened. There was shouting and screaming and Tara remembered blood, so much blood._

_She opened her eyes once more, allowing the light to filter in, illuminating the room in a harsh glow. A shadow crossed into her vision and Tara turned her head to see a young nurse walking in holding a chart._

_She turned and gave her a brilliant smile, “Missus Knowles, how are you feeling?” Tara whimpered softly and the nurse gave a small smile and pressed a button on the panel, “this will give you a good dose of morphine.”_

_“I can’t remember, what happened?”_

_“I’m not sure but I can tell you the extent of your injuries.” The nurse flipped open the chart. “You have a sprained ankle, a five inch gash on your collar bone, minor concussion, multiple bruises and abrasions on the entire body.”_

_Tara didn’t want to say it but she was desperate, “what about the baby? I was-“ she choked and her eyes filled with tears, “pregnant. Is my baby okay?”_

_The nurse smiled and a weight was lifted. “You have a beautiful baby girl, she’s now three and a half days old.”_

_“Can I see her? I want- no, I need to see her,” Tara tried to sit up but felt some wet on bedspread. She glanced down, and saw blood seeping through bandages around her waist._

_“In a bit, she’s in an incubator, but the doctors think that she’ll make a full recovery.”_

She had made a full recovery and was out of the hospital after a month. By the time she was ten months, she was toddling around the apartment, leaving Tara in the dust more than once.

This was like one of those times. Except different. The farthest she had ever gone on her own was across to the park in Chicago while Tara was catching up with someone, but she knew Chicago, it was all she had known all her life.

Tara’s voice started to go hoarse from calling her name, and she paced the area in front of her house, waiting for David to arrive and take control, to find her little girl.

Seeds of doubt in her mind began to grow, what if it was him? Joshua? How could he have found her so quickly, he didn’t know about her father, let alone that she grew up in Charming. She couldn’t remember ever telling him. But if it was him…

No, it couldn’t be, he didn’t even know what Katie looked like let alone enough to stake out the house hours after being released. He might not even have been released yet. She was being paranoid.

A pair of headlights turned onto the drive and Tara could see David at the wheel and felt a little bit of tension leave her shoulder. She ran towards him and immediately started talking, “I shouted at her and she ran off and then I took a few minutes and then she was gone,” she paused for a breath.

He was still opening the car door as she finished talking. “What was she wearing?”

“Pink Hello Kitty pyjamas, no socks, her hair was in a braid.” Tara recited it mechanically, trying to keep herself calm.

David nodded and wrote it down, “It’s only been half an hour, but what I’m going to do is send in a description for patrols to keep looking out for, but I can’t declare an amber alert until she’s been missing longer. I’ll watch the streets; you stay here in case she comes back. And don’t you dare give me that look, this is the most effective way to find her.”

Tara closed her mouth, giving a small frown. She was about to object to staying home, Katie was her daughter after all.

“Do you know where she might go? Where have you been with her that she might try to get to?”

She wracked her brain, retracing her steps, “the park, and the diner we were at with you, the hospital and Donna and Opie’s house.”

“That it?”

She scowled, and David backpedalled. “We’ll check the routes there, but you stay here. If she comes back and you aren’t here, imagine how she’ll feel.”

“I don’t have to imagine.”

With those words he climbed back into the car and took the radio from the seat next to him and started talking into it very quickly.

Tara turned away and continued to pace as he drove away. Her hair started to fall into her face as the wind blew around. She started to shiver and her hands were shaking.

Poor Katie, wandering around fucking Charming in pyjamas with the Sons riding around and all their dirty money. It had been years since she had paid attention to what their illegal dealings were, but what were they up to now?

More importantly, was Katie in danger of getting caught in the crossfire? Would she get snatched up from the streets as a hostage or collateral? Tara remembered years and years ago when the Nords had grabbed the son of some senator, broke both legs, gagged him and threw him in a ditch to die.

She was frightening herself; Katie was probably sat on the swings in the park wishing that she were at home. She was probably fine; she was okay, just waiting for her mama.

Tara sat down on the steps and buried her head in her hands, hoping and praying that she was just in the park. She could picture her there, thinking about all the times she had pushed on the swings and how she always screamed, “higher, higher! Mama I want to go higher!”

How long she sat there she didn’t know, picturing her little girl. Long enough the sun started to rise. She heard the revving of motorcycles and more dread started to fill her heart. Very slowly, she looked up to see Bobby Munson, Chibs Telford and Jax on their bikes, followed by a boy she didn’t recognize and Opie in a truck. They stopped in front the house and Jax climbed off his bike.

“Unser told me about what happened to the kid, we figured we’d help look,” he gestured behind him and Bobby waved at her.

“Nice to see you Tara, wish it were under better circumstances,” he said and climbed off his own motorcycle.

Normally she wouldn’t accept the help of the Sons, but she had to get Katie back, “I’d be incredibly grateful to any help, David would too.”

Jax frowned. “Where would she be, if you had to guess?”

She shrugged helplessly. “Anywhere, she just wandered off. She could be headed to Tacoma by now.”

“We’ll go round town, near the school,” Jax decided and got back on his bike. “If we find her we’ll call you.” With that sentence, they rode off down the street, leaving behind dust in their wake and a helpless Tara.

Maybe she was an irresponsible parent, letting her daughter disappear into thin air; maybe she was just a bad mother. Those doubts had plagued ever since she had brought Katie home from the hospital. Maybe she was wrong for doing it all on her own, with no financial support or no back up plan, but Tara supposed there was nothing else that she could do.

She brushed her dark hair behind her ear, trying to keep herself from shaking. All she was doing was thinking about all the horrible things that could be happening to her baby girl as she sat helplessly on the porch.

It could have been half an hour to an hour by the time her phone rang. She frantically scrabbled for it and flipped it open. “Hello?”

David’s voice came through, giving her a glimmer of hope that fanned out with every second, “Tara, we found her, she’s perfectly fine. She’s safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as long a break as last time! 
> 
> Same drill as usual, any questions, comments or suggestions, give me a shout!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever fan fic. I've written dozens in my head, I haven't actually put them on paper, or in this case online. Sons of Anarchy is one of my favorite shows and Jax and Tara were my top relationship, especially in the season one, season two point.
> 
> If you like this let me know, I'll probably keep going regardless, but it's always nice to know if someone actually likes this.


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